The Thorn and the Rose

on B&N and iBooks

2012-02-02T07:06:00.000-08:00

It takes a few weeks for an ebook to go from Smashwords publication into the World Wide Web, sort of like a second release; today that ball started rolling. Unfortunately there's no image and metadata on Barnes & Noble; hopefully that will be rectified later today. Through iBooks, all looks good. I downloaded my copy, gave it a quick once-over, and yes, hyperlinks work fine, all seems perfect!

In another few weeks, it will land on Sony and Kobo. It's been sent to Diesel, but I don't have many good things to say about that retailer, so I'll not say anything. But if you're interested, you can read more about it here.

this book is live

2012-01-15T16:32:00.000-08:00

Well, after a rough afternoon, trying to correct the errors in my uploaded document, finally this novel is in the queue for Premium Catalogue status. But it's readily available for anyone to download at Smashwords! I love this book, plenty of drama in Arkendale as world events also swirl; Peoples Temple and Jim Jones alongside the murders of San Francisco mayor George Moscone and supervisor Harvey Milk. Jenny, Alvin and Sam find their lives as tumultuous as those shocking events, but I can't say much more without spoiling the book.

Suffice to say I'm so glad it's released, and hope you find it as enjoyable as it was for me to write. And far more rewarding than the headache of formatting and uploading that took place this afternoon!

nearly ready

2012-01-14T19:28:00.000-08:00

I woke early this morning, hoping to complete the last revision this weekend. I did it today.

I finished it today because I was up so early and because my football team made me feel nauseous. I couldn't watch the game; subsequently I finished the last six chapters, then started formatting.

Most of the formatting is done; I will complete it tomorrow, probably publish this novel sometime later on Sunday. I am really looking forward to that, because I really like this book. It's a real thrill releasing a novel, probably why I like doing it.

But now I am toast. Really really tired. Ready for bed. My book is nearly done, my team won, what more can I ask for?

getting so close

2012-01-11T09:08:00.000-08:00

Well, this novel is nearly there. Cover mock-up is being revised, one more rounds of edits waiting. But as I've just finished the last revisions, I'm doing a few miscellaneous bits, like adding The Tunes, songs without which this novel, like all the rest, wouldn't have been written. A plethora of 1970s (and a few 60s) songs breathe life into the words, putting air in my lungs, making these characters real.

I can't begin to explain or express what music means in this craft, between the plotting and writing, editing and publishing. I've been listening to music since I can remember, loved singers and songwriters, rock bands and solo artists for years and years; I wanted to be a DJ when I was in high school, a college radio station where I met my husband. We don't share too many favorite bands, other than a deep affinity for jazz, but music binds us, as it does me to the words. Without music, there would be no words.

Yet, the words spring without music in my ears, save jazz when other influences distract. I can't write fiction with all these blessed songs in my ears, but I can blog while melodies and lyrics rumble through my brain. In this novel, music brings people together, showing truths, healing a heart. What I hope the writing does, because I can't plant these tunes in a document, expecting to transfer what they mean. Instead Alvin, Jenny, Sam, Tommie, Rae, Lexi and the rest do it. Lexi is her father's disc jockey, spinning all Tommie's faves, Jenny's too. Tommie has a soft spot for Bread and Creedence Clearwater Revival, while Jenny loves Elton John and Joni Mitchell. Guess what? So do I.

Sam prefers The Rolling Stones and Bruce Springsteen, and Alvin loves whatever makes Jenny happy. One of the best parts of writing this series was indulging in my adoration for oldies, drawing parallels between plot and song. Most of it a reader won't know, but I do, and when a certain tune plays, I know exactly what it signifies; "Songbird" by Fleetwood Mac, "Fire" by The Pointer Sisters, "Picture In My Mind" by Bread. Of those three, only "Songbird" isn't mentioned within the text, but it's for Alvin and Jenny. And Tommie, Sam, for Chelsea too. Maybe when you read the novel, you might know where I listened to it, where that song sat in this writing of this book. Yet each tune flows through the whole book, this book and all the rest. Every single novel is infused with music. Words and song are entwined, just like in my life.

up next, the iBooks edit

2012-01-03T10:14:00.000-08:00

One of the best uses for my iTouch is as an eReader. I use to employ Stanza, until they were bought out by Amazon. When I updated my iPod, the Stanza app didn't recover. I don't imagine Amazon fixing that bug anytime soon; they don't want to share free technology, preferring to shove Kindle down everyone's throat. But that's okay. I know how to put my books on that iPod in another manner!

Solely by the grace of God, I'll tell you! I was devastated when last fall I attempted to put some of my latest drafts onto Stanza, finding the whole app was busted. Investigating, I learned who had bought them, and easily discerned why no update was forthcoming. Fiddling around with Calibre, my handy-dandy epub maker, I could load files directly onto my iTouch! And I did so. Then I added Alvin's Farm when preparing that novel for release. All was well, I was happy, Amazon hadn't thwarted my efforts. Until right after Christmas, when everything fell apart.

I couldn't load a free epub from Smashwords onto iBooks! I tried one of my novels, no luck there either; what was wrong? I stewed for a good twenty minutes, going over my detailed post-it notes, but nothing worked. Then my husband asked if I had rebooted my PC lately. No, I hadn't.

Once that was achieved, again I followed all the steps and... nothing! These sorts of issues bring me to a halting crash; I am not the techie sort, I rely on my family and when they are stumped, it's up to God. I firmly hold dear that if it's in his plan, it will happen. That evening, I was doubtful. I had rebooted. I had prayed, I had tried all on the list and anything else that looked promising. I even Googled the issue, found nothing helpful. Then I again unplugged the iTouch, noting on Calibre the listing of epubs all owned a green check beside them, save the two I was trying to load. I clicked on them, then on Send To Device; voila! Suddenly my iBooks had new new novels!

BIG DEEP BREATH... I scribbled all I recalled doing, then tried it again, and it worked. By hook and crook and Jesus Christ I loaded those books, just did so again. Reading manuscripts on an eReader is an invaluable tool, pointing out flaws and unnecessary prose. Now this novel awaits that round of refinement, maybe today when I get back from the store. I just completed one edit, hacking over 5K! I wonder what this version will bring...

words falling like leaves

2011-12-30T19:31:00.000-08:00

Finally I returned to editing this novel after a long Christmas break. I also had a cold, but it was time to get busy. This novel will be published at the end of next month, so a'hacking away I went!

It feels good, in that my eyes have recently been opened, scales falling, which leads to words vanishing. All for the greater good of the book, of course. I reached a turning point today, edited that chapter, then knew I was done for the day. I think I got through four over the morning, and as my husband is taking his walk tomorrow, I'll do another four. By the time 2012 rolls around, I'll be nearly two-thirds done with this round of revisions.

I'll not be writing anything for the next few months, my head firmly in an editing groove. This novel will be followed by Memories Of Home, which wraps up the first part of a six-novel series. The last half will come out in late summer, throughout autumn. But for now, this novel is being fine-tuned, turning into a better story. That's a huge part of the work. A novel is written once, then rewritten countless times. Editing is easier, in a way. All the hard, creative work has been accomplished. Now comes the detailing, at times painstaking, yet so satisfying. Like chiseling away at marble, for the beauty waiting to be uncovered!

back into this book

2011-10-07T15:41:00.000-07:00

I just finished Alvin's Farm this morning, then felt compelled (no other way to put it) to dive right into this. Not sure I'll tackle this one as hard as I did Alvin's Farm, but who knows?

If nothing else, these books will be revised within an inch of their lives!

reading and editing and football

2011-09-11T13:01:00.000-07:00

Football season started today, but I also am taking another look at this novel. I got two chapters read before the lure of pigskin called. I don't think Sam, Jacob, Tommie, Max or Steve would mind.

This is the second in the series, and things get off to a booming start in this novel. I'm hoping to release it in January/February, but it's in pretty good shape. Always some tweaking necessary.

This is the first weekend of football season, I'll just need to remember not a lot will occur on Sundays for the next few months. But good to have a day's break. When I get revising, I really go to town!

winding into another gear

2011-07-14T15:39:00.000-07:00

This novel right now sits under the Gentle Morning Edits, one chapter a day. This time next year it will be published, which is odd to consider, but it's in the pipeline, why I'm here today, just to take note of the fact.

Alvin, Jenny and Sam all collide in this book, and what a crash! I think this is the shortest of the first three, but still over 90K. But words are falling in this edit, as is proper. And I expect a few more to fall, before it's set in stone. Or print or an ebook, so many options!

bit of work

2010-08-15T19:46:00.001-07:00

Been editing this for the last few days, as I've changed the location from central Oregon to western Oregon.

It's pretty good.

And I'm adding spacers between the scenes, as in Alvin's Farm.

Just an update...

Stanza edit in the works

2010-05-07T15:13:00.001-07:00

So for the last three days I've been editing Alvin's Farm, and it went so well, I've decided to hit this one next. Not the same goal, as this story is under 100K, 97,000 or so right now. In fact, this one may be plumped up, descriptions necessary in this tale, if I remember right.

Good to do it right after finishing the predecessor, all still firm in my head. I've written down each chapter's current word count, then I'll tally it as I go, see from where the words come and go.

Tomorrow, this will start tomorrow, fun, fun, fun!

had a look...

2009-09-20T19:54:00.000-07:00

At the end of this last night, and it made me excited to write up the end in November.

Even started thinking how that will go, and I'll do more plotting once I'm done writing the current WIP.

Alvin, Jenny and Sam aren't far from head...

moving to new digs...

2009-08-01T07:17:00.000-07:00

Well, it's the first, which means...

I'm writing, but not here. Now I'll be at this location, for the next month or so, or here more permanently...

But as this story isn't completely finished, it will be revisited in November at this fine place.

So many words, so little time!!

meme

2009-07-25T06:23:00.000-07:00

MelRox tagged me, and now that I'm home...

Seven words to describe myself:

Spiritual. Which is different from religious. My husband goes to church and his pastor, who I've met and think is a lovely person, is a bit skeptical of my non-church going habits. How to explain to a man of God that I'm just not a denominational type? Yet, Christ is my center, and that cannot be made definitive in words to a pastor, or even all the words I could set here. With Jesus I am nothing, and within Him I have everything. I can't write much more than that.

Early morning riser. Which is three words, but there isn't one word to accurately describe that part of my being. Yet, I AM, no getting around it, and in conjunction, I go to bed usually around 9, 10 at night. I've always been this way, genetic I think, as my father and his father were early birds. My twenty year old daughter is scared to DEATH that will be her lot, and I wonder what that would be like, as she sleeps more than I think is humanly possible...

Listener. While I like to talk, I love to listen. So many facets of the human personality are revealed by a person's speech, and I don't mean only what they say. It's HOW they speak, or don't, the way they inflect their voice and thoughts, how a story is conveyed. The manner in which questions are answered, posed, replied and responded. As a writer, it's observation, personalities coming through in the most obvious way. Yet, also subtle, in that those quiet show much of themselves in what remains unstated.

Understated. In how I dress, communicate, live. I don't need to blare to the world who I am, for that rests in the arms of my God. While I'm quite loquacious in my blogs (oh now THAT'S an understatement!) within my life I'm more to the side, a listener, not because I have little to say or am ashamed of my opinions, but it's not all about me. We tease our youngest daughter, for the family joke it that it IS all about her. More to do with her being the baby of the family than a self-absorbed nature, but as for me, I'm fine to take a back seat, letting others do their thing. I know where my treasure lies, and when to toot my own horn.

Tea-obsessed. One word that really sums up my liquid intake, but so much more. I LOVE drinking tea. It's more mellow than coffee, an easy, milky drink that slips down a throat parched or not, one that brings a warm, soothing to a troubled moment, or only confirms the joy of the relaxed quiet. I drink it in the morning, afternoon, sometimes at night, all decaff right now. Only some milk, no sugar, and ONLY British or Irish tea, no Lipton for me...

Loved. Not only by God, but my spouse, my children, parents, siblings, and close friends. I feel that, such a blessing, and it fuels me when I'm low, reminding me of the best parts of life; happiness and bliss from a human touch. Hard to qualify otherwise, but as if Jesus wanted me to know He was near, he surrounded me with people who interpret that love as best as can be here in this place.

Imaginative. I've always had stories running through my head, since I can remember. All that I write now is a culmination of that thread, or threads, but having raised kids for twenty years took some time. Now they are nearly all out of the nest, and time I have. Time to write, conjure, sometimes feel inundated by, yet, all for some purpose. I suppose I'll just keep writing until the ideas stop. As of now, I have three stories set for 2010, as 2009 is already fully booked!

the end

2009-07-19T20:49:00.000-07:00

Well, this was unexpected. As I wrote the last sentence today, I realized it wasn't just the end of the work.

It was the end.

I started off this day with an incredible sense of peace. Was it Jay coming home? Was it the day-long quiet I was anticipating?

Maybe. But more, it was a notice, that things with this manuscript were going to wrap themselves in those two words.

The end.

To celebrate, Bob and I went for (mediocre when compared to the Midwest) frozen custard. In Willow Glen, there is an ice cream/frozen yogurt/frozen custard shop. The custard is...

...so-so. But I had finished, and after depositing Jay and her friend at the gal's house for a night of sleepover fun, we went for a treat. The queue was LONG, but people watching is nearly as fun as eating a sweet, cold treat.

So many people there had dogs!

While Bob was off at church this morning, then work in the afternoon, I wrote. Wrote and wrote, and then, around 3 o'clock, I wrote the last sentence.

It came out of nowhere, but I'm not done...

No, this story will have a third part, a trilogy I DID NOT mean to be so long. When this idea came to be back in February, I thought it would be a little story, maybe 50K.

So far it's over 200K. This installment 97,000, Alvin's Farm around 109K.

I'm still processing, and as I told Bob tonight, eating custard, right now it's just a relief to be done. In that tomorrow morning I don't have to write. I don't have to worry about trying to finish before I leave on Wednesday. I don't have to worry about time to plot out next month's work. It's only the 19th, and I have eleven days!

Ahhh.... There is something so rewarding about finishing a novel. Now, I need to put away laundry, wash some dishes, then fall into bed...

Last part of this story will be...

Memories of Home. A blog for that will be coming soon... (...is already up; what I will do to avoid cleaning the kitchen, and we won't even speak fo the bathroom...)

Today's word count- 8,933 (split between three chapters)

busy busy

2009-07-18T17:20:00.000-07:00

Woke early too early as I didn't sleep well. I had cantaloupe last night around 9 pm, too sweet that late, and at midnight I had the usual twitchy arms that occurs when I have sugar that late in the evening. My own fault, but it was so good, and today I finished it, after lunch. I'll refrain from sweets after 7 PM tonight, and will sleep like a log.

Since I was awake at like 5.30 AM, I read news and sites, ate breakfast, then got to work. Since I read the previous day's writing, and yesterday was a busy day too, that took a bit, before I could actually start writing.

And when I did, I didn't stop until that chapter was done, about 5 K later...

Then it takes an hour to clear the typing errors, read it over, diving right into the next chapter around 10.30 AM. I knew that meant a late lunch, but when on a roll, I have to just write.

Fortunately Bob took a LONG walk, two hours, and how much do I LOVE that man?

Deep into completing the work for the WHOLE DAY, I went on a Slurpee run. Grabbed my glasses and keys, wallet in my purse, and drove to 7/11, got him a medium cola Slurpee. Came back, sat and wrote, then started the oven for his frozen pizza, then back to the PC, when around 1 PM I was done...

And boy, did that bagel taste GOOD!! As did the cantaloupe.

Bob and I joked that I'm turning into The Monster at the End of the Book, an old Golden Book featuring Grover from Sesame Street. (The monster is me.)

I'm up to 88K, the end is in sight, and when that happens I turn into a writing crazy person. Not a machine, but only a human, longing for this tale to be OUT of me.

Plus I'm taking a few days' off next week, and with a story starting in August, I need to pace myself.

Anyways, that's my day. Still quiet, Jay coming home tomorrow afternoon. She's having fun, I'm getting heaps of writing done, even a bit of housework here and there. My bathroom needs a once-over, maybe I'll let the monster at the end of the book do that chore.

And again, the monster is me...

Today's word count- 9,629 (split between two chapters)

another late night

2009-07-17T21:08:00.000-07:00

And again only because of the timing. Finished the work, expect for reading aloud by 2 or 3 PM. Then Bob and I went for ice cream.

So good! A banana split with peach cobbler, burgundy cherry and chocolate fantasy ice creams. Really GOOD!

The work today came as a surprise. I had no idea what was going to happen, and it just spills from my fingers, and we'll see if it stays. I think it will, as it works, but just goes to show how spontaneous writing is, what I love about this art form.

Now, it's nearly bed time. I am a morning person, and usually by this time, I'm in bed.

Today's word count- 8,390 (split between two chapters)

is it bedtime yet?

2009-07-16T19:09:00.000-07:00

What a weird day...

First, I just did the read aloud. At 7.14 PM. Not that I wrote all day long, but there were contractors around once I did finish writing, and only now, after their departure and my dinner, did I complete the day's work.

Bob came home around 10 AM, as he's working a swing shift, and it would have made for a VERY long day had he stayed there the entire time. It worked out well, as he was able to help the guys with odds bits while I typed, read over typing but didn't read it out loud.

That would have been just too much!

Since Bob's at work until late, I have the entire house to myself, which is still strange. Jay is having a lovely time on her holiday, and I got a lot done today, including the writing.

Now I'm just knackered! Woke early, and will crash early too. I need to start some water in the front, it's looking quite dry. I'll do that now, then eat a cookie, the best way to end a day...

Today's word count- 7,596 (split between two chapters)

many words

2009-07-15T16:39:00.000-07:00

Today Jay left for a few days' holiday, and Bob and I will be alone until Monday evening.

This is the life I will live in a year's time, when she goes off for college.

In the meanwhile, there are words to be typed, of which I did today, over 5 K, a LONG chapter, but Jenny has her baby, and now...

Things will change. Won't say just what, but with that event occurring, the plot continues to thicken. Right now it's sitting at 63K, and while I'm not worried about hitting 80K, I don't want to go too much over 100K. Alvin's Farm is at 109K, and I don't think it needs to be too much longer than that.

There are still a few things to hash out, but now it's a downhill slide. A few secrets to be revealed, as one might expect and Tommie still needs to crash a truck. But now that the baby's arrived, I can see how things will move ahead.

Writing is one of those things that as it happens, it snowballs, ideas going from one idea to another, and if you can keep them all in check, it works well. Sometimes bits slip past, and when you corral them later, there's a bit of tweaking. But for the most part this manuscript is coming along well, and I should be able to complete it by the end of the month. I'll take a few days' off next week, and should be coming to the end when I return.

Then plotting for next month, but that is another blog entirely.

Today's word count- 5,039

magnet and steel

2009-07-14T14:34:00.000-07:00

An old song, from 1978, I believe. How Jenny and Sam are, and what I just listened to.

Things are moving along now, Jenny's baby due in a few months. Where the beginning of the book covered a few events in depth, now the prose is flowing, days and happenings not as fine toothed, more bits here and there. I need to do a small bit of research, for tomorrow's work. Guys are coming round to fix a few things, not sure how much I'll get accomplished. At least a chapter, as they don't arrive early. Then we'll see.

Today's word count- 4,429

getting in the swing

2009-07-13T11:38:00.000-07:00

Back to work, only one chapter today. Which was good, and I needed a break, starting off today's work with a more lyrical sense. Not sure how that will continue, but the beginning of the book is pretty intense. Now I may slow down, see how the chips fall. What comes next is the aftermath, and maybe that should be written with a sense of breaths taken, exhaled, time for truth and events to sink in...

Who knows! All I know now is the word count and that it's time for a bagel. Always a bagel, that rarely changes.

Today's word count- 4,325

weary

2009-07-09T14:06:00.000-07:00

I'm pooped! Getting up at 5 AM every day this week, writing tons and tons... Ready for a few days' break, and I don't think I'll be writing tomorrow.

The book is coming along all right. Not as lyrical as its predecessor, does it need to be? I don't know. A sequel is a different book, even if it's continuing a story. Maybe they can be told in different styles.

Oh I don't know...

Anyways, it's to a good stopping place, finishing a bit of an arc, and when I return to work on Monday, I'll take the story forward a few months in time. Been concentrating on a few days all week, 8 chapters written in four days. Not sure if that pace will continue next week, but at least I'm somewhat ahead of the game for now...

Today's word count- 7,916 (split into two chapters)

hump day

2009-07-08T15:02:00.000-07:00

I'm crunching ice right now. My husband hates it when I do this, but he's not home yet. So I'm crunching away.

Listening to music loudly too; another two chapters down, and I don't know for how much longer this will last. Well, maybe tomorrow, then I'm taking the weekend off, so it might only be today, maybe tomorrow.

Monday will be the next writing day, as I really am not looking at getting any work accomplished on Friday. I might, but I really doubt it.

Today's was... Frantic. In the story, and how I wrote it. Got one chapter, then took a small breather, unsure if any more was there.

It was, and out it came. I didn't get lunch until 1 PM, writing, then clearing, then reading until then.

Jay took off for a friend's house, and I read aloud then. Finished for the day at 2.30 PM.

I also started some laundry, for our little getaway, ran the dishwasher too. Talked to Thea while I ate, missing my usual lunchtime reading time.

I feel like things are in this weird limbo sort of state. Is that metaphoric for California? Or only me...

Like the writing comes, like a flood. But the rest is on hold, the timing unknown. All I can do is get up, write, eat a bagel, go to bed.

Well, I eat dinner too, talk with family, stitch, crochet, faff about. But it's very routine, very structured. Very...

Strange. Especially because the work, the actual creation of written word is pouring over me; I've never written this much at the beginning of a book.

I know I'm taking a few days off soon, and by Friday I'll need it. Another huge rush of words today, about death, life, why. Why do things happen when they do.

A question I'm asking myself, trying to let it go. Sometimes it's hard, sometimes easy.

Sometimes it's all I can do to spew words, then worry about what comes later.

Not worry, but ponder. But maybe I don't even need to do that.

Maybe that's the key...

Today's word count- 7,602 (split between two chapters)

cooler today

2009-07-07T12:42:00.000-07:00

In more ways than one, and there is something wrong, troublesome about writing death scenes.

Especially when I KNOW it's coming. Unlike other things, this death I've known about since I first had this idea.

Doesn't make it any easier, and there is this strange smile on my face, which I don't really understand. Like I know what's coming; could I change it?

No, because it's the crux of the plot. Which is crappy, but there it is. A death changes everything, and I know it's only fiction, but still...

I've killed people before. Some die young, some of old age. Some are sick for ages, and it's a relief. This wasn't any of those.

This was death in middle age, unexpected (except by me) and brutal. Not violent or ugly, but still awful, and after I wrote it, I had to move away. It was the end of a chapter, and while the character wasn't quite dead, the character was, for all intents and purposes, gone. No more. Absent. No longer viable and on and on and on. But mostly, near death.

Then, the beginning of the next chapter, for again today I wrote two, death struck. Hitting with the full force of emotion, pain, angst, disbelief. Then horror for those left behind, and that's only beginning.

About a third into this book, and the rest deals with the aftermath, so many lives changed, how people deal with the loss of one loved romantically, platonically, brother and sisterly. We love in so many ways, equally loss is felt in so many different manners. Loss that is cruel, undeserving, mean.

And I wrote it.

Are writers trying to play God? Control lives that we can? I don't know. Why did I hinge this story all on this one death? Am I a sadist, wanting to cause pain, horror? Man, I really don't know, but I sit here on a day that is sunny, warming nicely. It was cool when I was working earlier, at 7 AM. Now it's in the low 70's F, breezy, gorgeous. My life is pretty fine. The lives of those in this manuscript were just torn asunder.

Should I care? They are only characters, but I shake my head. Under my skin they live and breathe, one not breathing anymore. I mourn that loss, and know that tomorrow these people start again. Will pick themselves up, move on. Plan a funeral, try to explain to each other, themselves why.

I'm just so glad they can't ask me.

Today's word count- 6,588 (split between two chapters)

Excerpt Monday

2009-07-06T14:26:00.000-07:00

For the next hour, the music was Tommie's choice. The teens groused for a bit, then made their way from the floor, allowing older couples their rightful places. Alvin danced with Rae as Bread, James Taylor, The Supremes, and Creedence Clearwater Revival blared from the stereo. Older Rolling Stones tunes followed, with Sly and the Family Stone, The Beatles and a few of Paul McCartney's early solo hits coming. Jenny and Alvin had the slower songs, but when a faster tune emerged, she was on the floor with Tommie, Jacob, or Sam.

Lexi took over the DJ spot, knowing her father's favorites. Those, and some of Jenny's, Elton John, Stevie Wonder, and Joni Mitchell joining the lineup. That hour would be a watershed, for at ten o'clock, the teens took back the record player, the adults retiring to the house. It was also a moment for realizations, as Sam danced with Jenny, their graceful, in-sync moves missed by no one. Alvin had always noticed how good they danced together, but in that hour, on that night, he found one other previously unknown truth. A thought that as he watched them explained why Sam was leaving, why out of all of the other men, Sam danced best with Alvin's girl. Sam loved Jenny Cope.

Was it only that gift of Alvin's, the ability to see through people? Or was it the music, offering an opening that before, Alvin hadn't noticed. Was it fatherhood, or that he and Jenny were engaged? Alvin wasn't sure, but as he leaned against a hay bale, sipping his one beer, suddenly he was infused with knowledge, awareness, acuity of mind to see what had been sitting in front of him for ages, months, probably almost as long as he'd known Jenny. Or as long as Sam had known her.

Alvin's heart felt funny, he usually missed these sorts of things. He could be keen to note when people were treating him differently, but this time it was how Sam treated Jenny. Or more to the point, how he didn't treat her. Was that it, Alvin wondered? The normal flow of their movements were just off, only a bit, but Alvin had seen Sam dance with Jenny lots of times, always so smooth, easy, but tonight it was different. Sam seemed shaky, scared. Jenny was the same, just a little tipsy. She'd had a couple of drinks, not her usual way, but Alvin and Jenny were both tired, worn out. Not only from Chelsea's teething, but trying to make a baby. Jenny had told him she was going to have a drink that night, and he'd seen her with a beer, then one more. That was all, but normally she never drank.

It didn't seem to bother her dancing; Jenny let Sam lead her as he usually did, but Alvin watched, it wasn't usual. Sam was having a hard time leading, as though Jenny was Alana, from that barbecue when Jenny first came to Arkendale. Alana was so young then, but had led Sam around the yard, fully in control. Now it was Jenny in control, Sam on the ropes. Maybe that was how Alvin knew, Jenny to put Sam in a corner.

A corner, and now out of the state. Sam was going to Missouri not because of a new job, but because he loved Jenny. He loved Jenny, but wasn't going to do anything about it. Alvin breathed that in; Sam had probably loved Jenny for a while, because since Jenny had moved to Arkendale, Sam rarely came home. Even when Jacob was drinking, Sam was at home for every holiday. Now, it was pulling teeth to get him down, and Jacob was sober. He was sober and their mom was gone, and Jenny was here. Jenny, it was all about Jenny.

Alvin drank the rest of his beer, there wasn't much left. His heart hurt, seeing how Sam laughed, as though he was happy. Alvin saw right through that, Sam wasn't happy at all. He was heartbroken, and Alvin lost his breath; Sam had been the one to talk to Jenny, to get her to come home. Home to Alvin, not Portland.

Jenny had wanted to go to Portland two times. The first one it had been Alvin to get her to stay, but the second time, it was Sam. Sam, who loved her, had been the one to get her to come home, which meant Arkendale, Alvin's farm. That was Jenny's home, and even if they only had Chelsea, they were going to be married, be man and wife, and it was because she'd listened to Sam. Alvin stood, needing to know what Sam had said; what had he told her?

The song was ending, and as Alvin approached them, Sam smiled, sending Jenny Alvin's way. "Here you are, my friend."

"Oh, uh, thanks Sam," Alvin stuttered.

Jenny moved right to Alvin's body, nestling close. A Joni Mitchell song played, Alvin familiar with that voice. He wasn't sure of the exact tune, but Jenny seemed to know it, humming along.

"Uh, Jenny, I, uh, I need to ask you something."

"Mmmhmm?"

He stopped, only his thoughts. His movements were as hers, slow, slower than anyone else was dancing. It wasn't a fast song, not at all, but as usual, Alvin was slower than most. Slow on the uptake, but this one piece he'd realized. Sam loved Jenny, but hadn't taken her to Portland. He'd convinced her to stay in Arkendale with Alvin, and there was no way would Alvin ever be able to pay Sam back. No way.

"Uh, Jenny, what's this song?"

"Blue," she murmured. "I just love this whole album. Glad Tommie kicked out the teenagers." She laughed. "I guess I'm not so young anymore."

"I love you Jenny Cope." Alvin's voice came quickly, as he looked around the room. He wouldn't be able to ask Jenny, too personal, and he didn't want that time to come between them again. August needed to be left behind. Maybe Tommie knew, or Jacob, maybe.

"I love you too. You about ready to go home? Rae said we can just leave Chelsea here, but I didn't tell her about the teething."

Jenny let out a giggle, and Alvin held her close. She'd been so ready to leave him, take Chelsea away. Last night had been so hard, staying up with her, but now Alvin was aware. They had nearly left him, the two women he loved most. Well, Chelsea was only a baby, but his little girl, and Sam had lost his wife and baby girl, yet, he hadn't taken Jenny.

He could have, could have just taken her right up to Portland. Where she'd wanted to go in the beginning, but now twice she'd stayed here. Sam could have met her there, but she hadn't left. She loved him, Jenny loved Alvin, they had made a baby together. Were trying to make another, were going to get married. Then Alvin realized one other thing, why Tommie had told him to ask Jacob to be his best man, Sam too young.

That wasn't it at all. Sam wasn't too young, only in love with the woman Alvin was going to marry. That's why Jacob would be his best man, too much for Sam to take.

The song ended, and as Jenny and Alvin moved from the floor, he sat her next to Rae, who had taken a nearby hay bale. Tommie stood with his wife, and Alvin thought about asking him to go outside, take a walk. Find out the truth. Tommie knew, Alvin was sure. Who else knew how Sam felt? Were he and Jenny the only ones not to know?

Now it was only Jenny, as she giggled with Rae, who'd also had a few beers. They were happy, a couple of sillies, as Tommie used to call his kids. Did they know too?

Alvin watched Sam, standing with Lexi, picking out songs. He acted with her as he did with Jenny, only family. This was a strange family, in that none of them were related by blood. All of Alvin's real relatives were either dead or gone. This was his family, one made of people brought together by love. Yet, as Sam gave Lexi a kiss on the cheek, a part was being cut off, due to love. A love that Sam had for Jenny, but left out.

Music played, a song Alvin remembered from long ago, a group that Alvin couldn't name, but knew was one of Tommie's favorites. He and Rae went to the floor, leaving Alvin with Jenny.

"You wanna dance?" she asked.

It was a slow song, the words sung in a sad voice. Like someone saying goodbye, and as Sam came their way, Alvin motioned him over.

"No, you know, I need to go to the bathroom. Sam, you wanna dance with Jenny?"

Sam looked surprised, and Alvin saw everything. How he walked slowly, almost like Alvin had asked if Sam wanted to walk the plank. There was hurt, pain, hidden by a smile that Alvin knew well. One Robert Tucker had worn for years, hiding his life from everyone. Sam was hiding what he felt, and then Alvin saw Rae's face. She knew, Jacob and Debbie too, but that was all. No one else had any idea, and as Sam took Jenny's hand, led her to the floor, Alvin watched. Sam's movements were simple, not pulling Jenny too close, gentle laughter coming from them, like good friends shared. Alvin stepped to the doorway, his bladder not at all full. A small lie, only little, not like the huge one in Sam's eyes.

Today's word count- 7,890 (split between two chapters)

Roger's the king

2009-07-05T12:28:00.001-07:00

It's undisputed now, beating Andy Roddick in five sets, taking the last one to 16-14. Roger Federer owns 15 grand slam titles, besting Pete Sampras' record of 14. Can't say much more than that...

As for the writing... Today was a longer work-out, completed right after Bob and Jay came back from church. By 11 AM I was done, as was Andy Roddick. A surprise came out, one I hadn't planned; Alvin and Jenny are engaged. Having eschewed matrimony in Alvin's Farm, now that twosome are planning on getting hitched, and while I hadn't seen that coming, it deepens their story, adding another layer.

That is the part of writing I LOVE!! In a story like this one, loosely plotted, it's less of a surprise than in one like Belated where each chapter was scripted, yet still just as satisfying. As though from where all this originates steps in, making known to me what I need, when I need it. Not a minute before, and as I typed words, introducing two engagements, one I knew. The other was...

Well, whoa! Alvin and Jenny, not at all what I'd thought. I type quickly (but sloppily, nothing comes without some cost) and before I could really think, there it was, two couples planning to be wed. I only have a few chapters to explain some things, and depth needs to be cemented. This was perfect, another example to me of Who is really behind my frenzied output.

Ain't me at all. I'm only the hands and feet, well, fingers really, all that are needed to type. The rest is a gift, one for which I am eternally grateful...

Today's word count- 4,232

sometimes it surprises me

2009-07-04T09:32:00.001-07:00

...how easily it can happen. However, it must be said that I wrote about 1,400 words less today than previous days. But still, it's 9.31 AM, and I am DONE with today's chapter!

I didn't even start that much earlier than usual. At 6.30 AM I was poking about, reading various sites, then remembered... Oh yeah, gotta write! Ate breakfast, but didn't shower, as Bob was still sleeping. Maybe I was writing sometime after 7? Maybe. Then, suddenly it was 8.30 AM, and had Serena Williams already won Wimbledon by then? She beat her sister in two sets as I wrote, conjuring Noah and the flood in Sam's ramblings.

That wasn't planned, only that Sam and his brother Jacob were going to have a chat, barely a chat, but time outside in Jacob's backyard. Then I sit, and out of rainy weather within the document comes Noah and the flood. Sam wanted a sign, as did Noah, and Sam got his.

It's sunny here today, the fourth of July. After nearly eleven years of living in Britain, now that holiday has little significance. It means Bob's off for mince to BBQ, and I'll finish typing this, then really the work is complete. We'll hit another store when he returns, for corn and other bits, a day spent with family, here in California. Not England, not Oregon, but in Silicon Valley, with my family, as at the end of today's chapter, Jenny ended up with hers....

Today's word count- 2,701

done already

2009-07-03T13:05:00.000-07:00

The words came in a flood, as Bob listened to his own tunes. I popped in earbuds, put on John Coltrane, and typed away.

The early fussing and fighting is nearly done. For all intents and purposes it is. Now will come a small, quiet time. Some frustration, but more of the simple things that when looked back, are times you wish you could relive.

Spend those moments once and again, like tokens at an arcade. Retrieve more, plop them into a machine. But those moments, small, innocuous, are sometimes the ones most easily overlooked, as we wait for the bigger events, ones that stay in our memories, while the quiet, mundane activities are lost.

Until they are all for which we pine.

Today's word count- 4,160

will I read this out loud?

2009-07-02T15:32:00.000-07:00

I'm starting to wonder. I finished the work by 9.30 AM. Had to run to San Francisco Airport to get my husband, as he arrived home this morning. I am SO GLAD he's back...

However, there was a change of plan, and instead of him getting in at 1.15 PM, it was 10.22 AM. The SF connection was new too. I wasn't able to get the writing all tidied as I had imagined.

All that's left is the read aloud, but Jay's hanging out, and now that I'm working on a desk top, I can't just pick up and haul a tower and monitor into a spare room...

Hmmm...

The writing went well, came pretty quickly. Once I realized the schedule was altered, I got to reading yesterday's work, then BAM! Words flowed, and two and a half hours later I had what may be the word count for today. We'll see how the afternoon/evening progresses, but I may not get this read aloud until tomorrow.

So maybe I'll put down a tentative count, and if I DO get to read it to myself, mumbling along, I'll just add that as well, see the difference.

A small one, but there are a few changes made from reading it silently to saying those words. Somehow read aloud, the prose changes.

Today's word count (so far...)- 4,453

Updated 8.39 PM... read it aloud! More of a whisper at times, as Bob watered the garden and took out rubbish. Down to... 4,440...

day one

2009-07-01T13:56:00.000-07:00

Funny, every time it feels news. Approaching that first chapter, and I never plan out those first words. One of the rules of NANO is no pre-writing. All the planning you want, but those words must come on the first.

Seeing it's the first (of July) it was only a matter of taking a breath, sitting down, then...

Reading. Since it's a sequel, I reread the end of Alvin's Farm, not even all that last chapter. About two thirds, then I was ready.

That only came to me this morning, shower taken, breakfast eaten, tea waiting. Tea and a word document, and then it was like a brick, that ever lovin' brick, hitting me upside the head. Every day's work starts by reading over the previous day's session. A sequel needed a similar start, and once I'd read those words, I was ready.

Started off with Alvin waking alone, the solitude enveloping him, and went from there.

About two hours later, I had finished. Then there was the clean-up; I may spill the content, but the form, oh, painful! A document full of red and green squiggly lines, and after another ninety minutes, it was cleared.

Since Jay is home, and I'm working on a desktop, I had to read aloud with music cranked to 11; she had hers loud too, and by 11.30 AM it was done. The first day over and out.

Lots of information, as a bomb is pretty much dropped on the last page of Alvin's Farm. Needed to clean that up, clearing Sam's debris before Jenny and Alvin could even begin to see theirs clearly.

That's for tomorrow, but today, another manuscript is underway. Bob will be home tomorrow too, but the work will be done by then, and all will be well.

Today's word count- 4,178

all in my head

2009-06-23T08:54:00.000-07:00

I start writing this a week from tomorrow, and like Alvin's Farm, most of it's in my head.

And what isn't I'll get down on paper as I go. Like the Smith and Cassel kids' ages, grades in school.

But just today I figured out how Tommie mellows, how Sam goes from Sammy to Daddy, and how great grief turns to something else.

I'm watching tennis too, Wimbledon 2009, and Andy Roddick has gone through in four sets. He still pulls up the tops of his shirt at the shoulders.

Just have to keep this stuff (not the Andy Roddick bits) in my head for another month or so. But so far, it's holding.

getting closer

2009-06-19T10:01:00.000-07:00

This article opened my eyes. To Tommie, to his story, what I was planning on hitting in this book.

But I wasn't exactly sure, beyond trying to work through the sort of platonic affection men have for each other, love between friends that seems hard to speak of; but what is just as actual as friendships women share.

Deep, abiding, loyal and true, yet, not as accessible, not as easy to note. Especially not in 1978.

This story isn't only about Jenny, Alvin and Sam. Tommie Smith comes into this, having hinted at all he's kept inside in Alvin's Farm. So much pain from others, but in this story it explodes, for the past losses, and the one that truly knocks him flat.

What blows me away, and probably always will, is just how what I need comes to me when I need it. Starting this novel up in eleven days, and reading this piece crystallized for me how deep love between people can be, love not romantic, but beyond lust.

Where a life is given for another, as nothing else is known. The actions of that love might be misunderstood, seemingly harsh, or just strange. But the love itself is uncompromising, brutal. Fierce, unwavering, and at times, crushing. Exacting a great price, but not always leaving those for dead.

Bruising, because of the weight, the power. Then liberating, in the knowledge of how just deep it went.

Tommie will be touched, is going to get hurt, like Jenny, Sam, Alvin. There would be little reason for a book if there was no conflict. But redemption follows, the rose near the thorn unavoidable.

And that beauty, oh, it remains shining, exuberant, all we could dream...

getting closer

2009-06-16T13:05:00.000-07:00

just finished reading (with small edits) Alvin's Farm, and this one will commence in a few weeks...

it will be somewhat scattered, as there all sorts of interruptions I know coming, and who knows what us unknown!

but I'm getting a more settled notion of the plot, more about Tommie's troubles, as well as Jenny's.

I will probably read Alvin's Farm once more, before the first of July, just to be completely prepared.

but as I thought AF was going to be some little 50-60K tale, ending up at just under 109 K, I have no idea what this will be...

pondering

2009-05-10T08:20:00.000-07:00

been thinking about this story since I finished Alvin's Farm in March. I hadn't planned this idea to span two books, but at 109K, Alvin is pretty weighty, and this story, while perhaps not that wordy, would have been too much to slap on the end.

the title is... well, sounds like a romance novel. but it is that for now. significant in the rose, not yet sure about the thorn...

well, not entirely. there are always thorns amidst roses, keeps the buds from being plucked too easily. always some pain with beauty, always.

I've given lots of thought to this story, but hardly set a thing down. same with Alvin; just came from my head with little plotting. so strange how some books are like that, while others feel already written, with nary a single plunked down on a document.

it will be interesting....

should have done this earlier

2009-05-06T18:02:00.000-07:00

but I'm getting around to it now. this is the sequel to Alvin's Farm, and will commence writing in July.

until then it's a jumble of words I occasionally spew forth, hoping no one hears me mumbling to myself.

bits change here and there. how Alvin, Jenny, Tommie, Rae, Sam, etc, will be in 6 weeks, who knows! stay tuned to find out...